Delusions of Grandeur. [TALLS.]

tallstar fell hard on his side, wincing in pain. the grass beneath him felt solid, rock-like. the scratch on his shoulder oozed red, easily hidden by his fur. clenching his jaw, tallstar stared at his attacker, managing to pull himself back onto his paws. 

"what the hell was that?"

the somali's teeth clamped together and he said nothing for a while, turning his head. "i can do this." the cat standing across from him didn't look very convinced. 

"we'll see!"

the jet black tom darted him, dashing back and forth like a rabbit. tallstar struggled, his reaction time not up to par with the challenge he accepted. before he could let out another breath he was knocked hard in the stomach, thrown up in the air. only when he came crashing down did he scream, feeling unbearable pain in his paw.

"still think you can beat me?"

desperate to ignore the pain in his paw, tallstar stood and trashed his tail, putting pressure on the pad that felt like a  porcupine's  quill. "please, i... i'm not good at this yet," he mewed, his gaze weary and exhausted from hours of training. the black cat turned his back on tallstar as if unimpressed.

"i knew you didn't have the strength to be a warrior." tallstar's jaw dropped and he felt the hairs on his back raising, perhaps from shame. this cat was right--his path wasn't one of the skilled or brave. "medicine cats are above rivalry." the ruddy tom let out a long hiss. "i am no longer a medicine cat!"

"but you don't want to be a leader." the truth stopped tallstar in his tracks. for once, he had nothing to snap back at. leading... leading windclan wasn't what he trained for, begged for. if he aspired for something greater than what he was, he would have chosen the path of a warrior. "you were always meant to be a medicine cat, tallstar."

the windclan leader fought back. "but the prophecy! the prophecy said a great healer would take windclan in their paws..." wasn't that healer him? hadn't paleface delivered the message himself after his death? when the black cat remained silent, tallstar slammed his good paw down onto the ground. "wind, answer me!"

windclan's founder turned his head towards tallstar, green eyes empty. "a medicine cat has no knowledge of the warrior code, the skills to hunt or fight, or the heart to fight against his enemies." wind urned around and walked towards tallstar, touching noses with him as his form began to drift into the distance.

"listen to your heart tallstar, your path leads to more than a position..."

as wind began to fade into the distance, tallstar began to run, run after him. ignoring the pain in his paw, tallstar brought his legs into his chest and pushed off, dartting through the grass as if chasing a ghost. "NO! STARCLAN, DON'T LEAVE ME!" wind's image began to disappear into the air.

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

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it was some time before tallstar returned to camp, but he limped like a defeated scout beaten by his enemies. his ears drooped low, tail dragging behind him in the mud remaining from the torrents of rain cascading throughout the moor. clanmates hustled and bustled around him, but no cat took much of an interest in their leader.

clovercloud wasn't anywhere to be found, and tallstar figured she needed a moment away from the kits. becoming a father hadn't changed him--in a way, he barely remembered he had kits. so used to being restricted from love, tallstar never learned how to make meaningful connections with cats of the opposite gender.

however, a quick visit with sparrowkit couldn't hurt, right? at a moon old, he heard his kin was quite the jokester. nothing like his father. ugh, stop being so pessimistic, thought tallstar, trying to shake himself free of the "bad dad" thoughts. sparrowkit was a good little guy and carried tallstar's genes, so there was little doubt he'd grow into a great cat. yeah, or a coward...

padding back to his den, he noticed a small creature standing on top of tallrock. at first, tallstar figured it must be a little bird or squirrel wandering too far from its nest, but a closer look revealed little sparrowstar, stretching himself nice and long, his tiny tail sticking straight up into the sky. tallstar chuckled and padded a bit closer, choosing to sit a few fox-lengths away from the kit. "what in starclan are you doing?" his voice was soft, gentle, not that of a cruel and strict parent. "i took you as a squirrel there, sparrowkit." his green eyes shone with the paternal love never seen in tallstar's time, but something inside him yearned to be a father to this kit.