fallen from grace { open

I remember at the beginning of my apprenticeship… when I used to come out here, stand at the top and try to press my nose to the stars, hoping that the ones above me were my parents. I remember when I would talk to them, sit there for hours and just let everything flow. Now… coming to this rock brings different emotions to mind. Sure, I still think about them from time to time, wonder what it would be like if they were still alive. But all in all, I am content with my life. Brindlepaw lets himself get caught up in things that he really doesn't understand. He doesn't really understand death. He just knows that because of it we are without our birth parents. He claims to understand family, but I know that’s not true either. Family isn't just blood. Family is those around you that you can trust, and cherish. Family is the ones that will stand behind you even when no one else will. Or at least, that’s what I think it is. I consider them more of friends… acquaintances at best. Maplefur isn't my mother, and Stoneface isn't my father. They are good friends who took care of me when no one else would. But they have both abandoned me in my foolish antics over the last two moons. And Brindlepaw… well he is far from it. When we were younger, he was a friend to play with, but now we hardly talk. Hell, I don’t know when the last time Lilypaw looked at me without disdain on her face. But hey, when it all comes down to it, maybe it’s better this way.  

That night the air was cold and the stars were hidden behind the white fluffy clouds that were illuminated by the moon. It was beautiful in every aspect of the word, and I was happy to be a part of it. The cold ice crystals that laid on the ground beneath my paws chilled my toes and the soft breeze seemed to whisper and whirl just the right ways so it would wiggle under my pelt; but it was still perfect. Every step brought me closer to outlook rock. Its dark outline could be seen against the horizon on the moors, growing larger with each stride. My muscles tensed, and without a moment’s hesitation, I jumped, casting myself upward toward the rock. My paws nearly slid off because of the wet snow, but luckily, I landed (though how graceful of a landing it was… well we will leave that for the judges) with my paws steady on a flat surface. Raising my head, I took one long look, before pushing myself higher, until I was at the very top. ‘You know, Specklepaw, going out there will not bring them back. It is not healthy to go to a place of such tragedy. Especially at your age.’ The voice of Maplefur rang clearly in my mind, though I knew that regardless of where I was tonight, there was a story of my parents that could be told. I should have been curled up with the other apprentices, warm and asleep, resting myself for my next day of training. But what is the sense of being normal and doing everything you are told? Sure, it is easier, but who said easier was the best? Deep down, I know if Brindlepaw would have seen me up here tonight, I would surely be scolded. But for now, and so long as I don’t bump into anyone, I should be just fine. Right? After all, I’m free.